The Hookup: Time's Up!

11.21.09

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The Hookup: Time's Up!

by Sarita | 06.25.2009 | 10:48am | 4 Comments

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When I first tried online dating, I consistently made the mistake of letting the dates go on too long. I’d meet the guy for a drink or a cup of coffee, and instead of keeping things short and sweet, it would turn into a four-hour chatfest!

It doesn’t take more than an hour for me to know whether or not there will be a second date. I would still hang out, however, because I never came prepared with an excuse (and I’m terrible at lying!).

Now that I’ve resurrected my online dating profile, it looks like my first date with someone new may be happening within the week. A friend of mine gave me some good advice for this time around: At the beginning of the date, state right away that it has to be a quick drink because you have a party/dinner/event you have to attend in an hour.

When the hour is up, if the vibe isn’t working and there is absolutely no potential for a second date, now you have a reason to say your good-byes and scurry off. But if it’s going, well you can either cut it off when you say you had to and hopefully look forward to date number 2 (if he is into you, of course), or you can choose to stay.

And if your date says, “Hey wait a minute. Don’t you have an event to go to now?” You can smile and admit that was just a ploy in case things didn’t go well, but that you’re having a great time and can stay for another round of cocktails.

What do you chicas think? Is this a good plan as I dive back into online dating?

4 Comments

Nancy D. DeBenedetto
06.27.2009
10:19pm

Mybig sis went on match.com 3 years ago and she met someone.She went on a date,and she told me to call her,i did and she said to call back,called 3 times. I told her she lasted too long,and she went out again,she told me to call her again.to keep it short. I did,3yrs later they are happily married but he thinks i call her tooooo much lol.Good idea best of luck.Like Lorie says i agree the guy will think ur playing games or maybe that ur friends are a haunt.LOL!.

chicaGuapa
06.25.2009
10:18pm

First off, I'm glad you gave online dating a 2nd chance! As far as if it's a good idea to have an excuse ready in order to keep the date short, I guess it is good to have SOMETHING in store to say if the date is really going badly. But another idea is to have your meet-ups/first dates someplace that is timed for you anyways. Think, the zoo. You walk around the zoo, it takes an hour or two...and you are forced to leave. Or...getting a coffee and walking around Central Park....so that it doesn't seem like you are just sitting for a drink or sitting in a cafe. Also, I think DOING something like walking together or looking at something (think animals at a zoo) can help ease the nerves on both sides. I hope the date goes well, whatever you do :)

riaria25
06.25.2009
3:48pm

Actually a better bet, I have done this, is to have a friend call you with an "emergency", if you need an out. However if the date is going well, it can seem you are getting an "invite" from a friend. Naturally your friend is aware as you have made prior arrangements. This way as Lorie said you are not playing games and you have a safety net to stay or go. Have fun!

LorieP5674
06.25.2009
12:29pm

I do and don't agree with parts of this. Yes, a woman should keep it short. And not try to drag the date on as if there is no tomorrow. You have your own life and it's get in or fit in. BUT! if you decide to say something is already planned, then don't tell them later on that you were just using that as an excuse...that tells a guy that you are playing games. keep it light and don't let all the secrets out at once. A man should be left wanting more.