The Great Wait Debate

11.21.09

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The Great Wait Debate

by Sarita | 03.03.2009 | 12:45pm | 9 Comments

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There have always been differing opinions among my group of friends about how long someone should wait before sleeping with a guy.

Some girls think that even if it's just the first date, you should go for it if it feels right. Why not? You only live once!

Others think you should wait until you've been on at least 3 dates, just to be sure…

And some of us feel that waiting until you both really know one another and feel comfortable is the best idea, whether that takes 3 dates or 30.

My opinion is that having sex right away is always a bad idea—no matter how much you two are digging each other or how off the hook the chemistry is. Sleeping with someone is extremely intimate on several levels. Plus, once you take that leap, what is left to look forward to and discover?

Sex is always better with someone that you really know and trust. The physical stuff that typically gets us all excited in the beginning fades quickly, and you don't want to be left wishing you had waited.

I have also noticed that guys stick around longer if you make them wait and work a bit harder for you, versus giving it up from the get-go.

What do you think? Do you think it's important to wait? Or does it make no difference if you do the deed right away?

9 Comments

ladyuniverse
07.25.2009
10:22am

I think its great if you can wait. I really makes that time special. acai

Nancy D. DeBenedetto
06.17.2009
4:47pm

I used to put a limit or limit myself to some stuff. Like only kissing,no touching. Or plain talking on the phone or just going out. I was talking to a man in Nov 2001,we never went out on a date,just talked on the phone,came to my house a few kisses. He went to Chicago for Thanksgiving called me faithfully everyday. Itold him i was going to a party the day after thanksgiving,and i went. I met a guy there,we hit it off. I told him i had my period and he was not getting any. We went to his place,we made out,wow!!!!!!!.He said lets do it and we did. I had never done that (a condom ws used) but on a first date. Called the other one and said hasta la vista baby. The chemistry was there. He said no strings attached but we are on our 8th yr together. lol!1

castroville
03.07.2009
9:23pm

It's better getting to bed on the first night after dancing, a movie, nice dinner; I spent several nights with ym new lover, And I never forget the fine date. bonificio@sbcglobal.net

Steph12
03.04.2009
4:06pm

i have to say i totaly disagree with putting a "limit" on waiting.....i slept with my bf the first night and we have been together for almost 3 years now...and this not the first time this has happened to me, i had 2 other relationships were i didnt make myself wait..i think it depends on the 2 people and how the situation is handled.....or maybe im just really good that first night...j/k....

Chocolatita
03.04.2009
3:33pm

If your plan is just to have fun, go for it but if you are thinking about long term, it's better if you get to know the person and do it when you both feel more comfortable. You dont want to find out after you guys were intimate, that your prince charm turned into a frog; married with 3 kids. That's the reason why you want to wait if your intentions are serious.

ilDivo
03.04.2009
11:05am

i dont think it should be so thought out and planned... let it flow and let it be natural and if the first night you have an amazing date and it leads to sex... WHY NOT!???

Dolce
03.03.2009
9:49pm

just do it, like nike says, LOL!

mvb
03.03.2009
7:32pm

Personally, the more I like someone, the longer I want to wait before having sex. It's not easy, and it doesn't mean that everything is going to work out in the long run just because you waited. Every situation is different, and it should really just happen when you are both comfortable.

deliciosa
03.03.2009
3:18pm

every situation is different so you have to do what works for the two of you. case in point -- me and my guy went for it on the first night and are still together MANY years later. we acknowledged it was off to a fast start and revised as we went to fit in line with our real needs -- which is really the other piece of this...the rules don't matter as long as both people are comfortable and confident that they are getting what they want from the physical relationship.