Is Chivalry Really Dead?

11.07.09

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Is Chivalry Really Dead?

by Sarita | 06.02.2009 | 1:00pm | 11 Comments

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Cause it damn sure seems that way!

I'm an independent woman, but I still think men should open car doors for us, allow us to walk through a doorway first, help us carry heavy stuff and even pick up the tab most of the time.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think men should treat us like ladies, and act like…well, men. A man should make us feel special, should treat us differently than they do their friends and go out of their way to be extra-polite to us—especially when they are trying to win us over!

This past weekend my neighbor walked right past me as I struggled up the stairs with my heavy suitcase, laptop and multiple bags after a 10-hour flight home from Spain. It would have taken one minute out of his day to stop, ask if I needed any help lifting my bags and take them to my door. But, of course, he didn’t.

But all is not lost, chicas! The next day, I grabbed lunch with my boy Juanito, who not only insisted on picking up the tab, but also took me for a coffee afterwards and paid for that too. He claimed that he invited me so it was his treat, and I let him pay.

The truth is I only want to date someone who treats me like I'm special, who treats me like a lady.

Do you think this is too much to ask, or do you agree that men should pull out all the chivalrous stops and treat us like the reinas we are?

11 Comments

bonita1106
06.11.2009
1:55pm

Hmm, I think that the absolutely atrocious way that most of the men who commented here chose to speak just goes to show that for a lot of guys, chivalry IS dead. GTOWN_REPRESENTA: Sarita isn't asking anyone to "cater" to her. She's just wondering why guys no longer think it is important to act like men. Since you obviously don't get it let me explain: Men should hold doors, pull out chairs and have a job so they aren't so broke that they can't cover the bill for a date they ask a woman on. ARTY963: If you really believe that men are demeaned in the US then you are not only not willing to be chivalrous, you are also delusional and THAT probably has more to do with you not being married than all the other lame excuses you use. GRUMN: I WISH there were more men like you in the world, and as for the women who take advantage, I say, "Shame on them!" But no worries, with manners like those, you are bound to find your princess soon enough ;)

GTOWN_REPRESENTA
06.18.2009
12:30am

and why should a man hold open doors, pull out chairs and foot bills?? because you're a woman who feels chivalry is your birthrite or because you're a woman who appreciates it and reciprocates?? if you are the former, then your post is also null and void.

GTOWN_REPRESENTA
06.08.2009
3:28pm

chivalry isn't dead. we men just only save those chivalrous acts for those that deserve them. you are not entitled to special treatment just because you have a vagina. you're speaking out of both sides of your mouth and you even said as much. you can't be, "independent" and still expect for someone to cater to you. that's just not realistic. relationships are about reciprocity. if a man treats you like his queen, are you prepared to treat him as your king?? if not, then your entire blog is null and void.

arty963
06.07.2009
3:02am

Same old thing, you just want your cake and eat it too. Are we equal or not? It's a simple question. I am not married because in the US men are demeaned and expected to 'fix' everything. I'll keep my money and sanity, and marry a woman who is European or Asian, who I have generally found to be much more mature than American women who want to be in charge, but have things done for them, to have things paid for, and to have every excuse available instead of accepting responsibility for their own actions. Lastly, if you want men to act this way, then why is it okay with most women that boys are taught that they are worthless in schools? Call one of your feminist friends and let them know that trying to turn boys into girls has only created a society full of females and metro-sexuals who focus (surprise!) on only themselves. Wake up and grow up. You want to be treated like a princess--like a little girl. Yes, I was once that man who helped women--but I grew up. Finally, finally, when was the last time YOU stopped or went out of your way to help a man in need?

Tim
06.07.2009
12:13am

Open your own door and carry your own stuff. Stop making excuses. We are living in an era of equality.

grumn
06.03.2009
2:28pm

Hello, I am guy and I do not mind being chivalrous and look forward to the opportunity to beo as well as being courteous to my fellow man regardless of age, gender or any other status. My question is this: should the price I pay for being chivalrous be those females (not all) who take advantage of me and try to get over on me? I dont do the things I do: picking up the tab, holding doors open, paying attention to a nice outfit, hairstyle or something positive about a woman I believe is a lady to get into her pants, or get a number or I can "holla" at her. I do it to keep my good manners/habits sharp for that lady who wants to do more than just appreciate my efforts but someone who wants to get to know me. Just my two cents.

Glorific
06.02.2009
9:18pm

Chivalry is not dead... just a bit confused. There are some feminist out there who feel that once a man holds the door for them it means that they want to get them pregnant, barefoot, and jobless as soon as they step through the door. These women are often quite vocal about their dislike of being subjugated and if a man has been confronted by one of these, he will forever question whether he should kill the chivalry. Where do we draw the line? If we claim to be as strong as men then we can carry our own bags. If we are capable of making as much money as men then can't we pay for HIS meal? It is not chivalry that we need to work on, it is politeness and kindness. When you see a woman with a stroller in the subway, do you help her? Have you held the door for an elderly person? I am not the queen of the ball who gets all of her needs taken care of, I am the subject of my world and I do the good deeds that I hope come back to me somehow.

salsadiva914
06.02.2009
4:54pm

While it is getting harder to find the truth is that chivalry is not dead. I find men will treat you like a lady but in return we should act like a lady. And if they don't treat us like a lady well then just get rid of that "incordio" and find someone who does. Also, be appreciative of men who are gentlemen. Sometimes we take them for granted or worse.

chicaGuapa
06.02.2009
3:48pm

Men should DEFINITELY be chivalrous to women. But yeah...it does seem rare and hard to find those chivalrous men. I thought for a minute about why...and I think it's because there are many women who, growing up or even now, want a guy to like them so badly that they let the guy treat them poorly. This trains the guy to treat all his future girlfriends poorly... I guess we just need to stick to our guns and only accept guys who treat us well. Bottom line. And hopefully we cross paths with one of those chivalrous guys eventually!

OhSoSassy
06.02.2009
2:58pm

I think a good man will do all that for you, and more. They're just harder to find...