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When it comes to romance, 2009 has been quite a learning experience for me. I finally opened up emotionally and expressed myself without fear. I followed my intuition even though everyone around me thought I was nuts. And once again I proved that I am one resilient chica.
With all these lessons down, I am looking forward to 2010. I even made a few Emotional New Year's Resolutions to help better my life. Because let's face it, if we don't love ourselves, we can't have satisfying, healthy and loving relationships. So 2010 will be the year where Sujeiry:
The holiday season can make me feel a little blah. I love spending time with my family, drinking coquito, eating pernil, and dancing to a good merengue ripao—but when its time for gift-giving my single status hits me like a ton of Santa’s coal. Watching my sister, brother and mother trade gifts with their significant others doesn’t give me the warmest feeling. I’m happy for them but in that moment I just want to pout and scream, “When is it my turn?!”
Since returning to the dating game, I've noticed that men just don't put in as much effort as they used to. The art of courtship has boiled down to texting, emailing and hooking up. Good night phone calls and sweet talk at dawn are long gone.
The Performer was one of the few men who'd actually picked up the phone to call. The fact that he'd dialed my number felt like a Godsend, but then he never called again to ask me out on an official date. And Funny Guy? I hadn't received any sort of communication from him in days.
Since planting a kiss on The Performer, I was on cloud nine. Not because I was fantasizing about my future wedding and mini-Sujeirys. On the contrary, I hadn't had a single dreamy thought. But because I was loving the new me! Then came a test. My phone rang. I didn't recognize the number but picked up anyway.
"Its Shaquan. What up gurl?!" He responded in a high-pitched voice. I laughed and shook my head, immediately aware that it was The Performer.
"Hey, how are you?" I asked.
I remember how carefree I was during my college days. I would go to class (sometimes), hang out with my girls, chug-a-lug and flirt with every cute boy on campus. I was less serious and less intense, especially in the boy department. Oh, and did I mention I was a kissing slut?
My hectic schedule didn't allow me to go the Funny Guy's comedy show. To be honest, I didn't really want to troop it to Queens for a man I'd just met. After all that had happened, I was over putting effort into a relationship that hadn't even launched. Funny Guy would have to come to me!
I've never been the type of woman who needs constant attention from a man. I’ve spent over a year not dating—as in celibate! So why had I agreed to go on a date with Alex, a man who treated me well, but with whom I felt no spark during our six-month relationship? Was this just a cry for attention?
I wasn’t quite sure, so I decided to let Alex know what was on my mind.
“Maybe it isn’t a good idea that we hang out,” I began.
“Really? But I like hanging out with you. You’re great!”
For a single gal, the holiday season can bring a bit of the blues. Sure it feels wonderful to be with my semi-dysfunctional familia (I have a crotch grabbing aunt and many drunken uncles), but I find it difficult to enjoy the coquito and turkey wings when everyone around me is coupled off. I wish I had a man to wipe away the grease from my lip! And how about someone to tuck me in for a nap when the turkey and drinks do their job?
After sending that email to Mr. G, I just wanted to live my life. With that change of mentality came a change of energy. Just like that I felt open to everything and, because of this, men came a-knocking.
Exes started calling, trying to rekindle what once was. My first love even created an artistic portrait of one of my pictures because he was "inspired." Was it Elijah's way of showing me he wanted more than friendship, I wondered? Ah, who cares!
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