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I’ve always been haunted by my ex-boyfriends. Even if they did me dirty or just weren't that into me; they always come back into my life somehow.
The latest ex to pop back into my life was my first serious boyfriend. First BF and I were together for seven months in 2003. It ended because we were in different places. He was reveling in politics while I was left wondering if our passions and interests aligned. We parted ways, but not before taking a "break," having lots of break-up sex, yelling and crying buckets of tears (unfortunately me, not him).
The day before Valentine's Day I woke up later than usual. My cell phone usually beeps as frequently as an ER doctor's and almost always wakes me up—yet there it was, totally lifeless. As soon as I rose out of my slumber, I picked it up from my bedside bureau and stared at the screen. Then I saw those three, tragic letters: GSM. My cell phone carrier grew tired of giving me service without payment and had cut me off!
I consider myself a pretty open-minded person, but I can’t force myself to like a guy. I’ve never been able to flip my hair at the sight of just any man; I’m just not that kind of flirt! So when Mr. Gringo and I went on our first date I felt like an anxiety attack coming on.
I wrestled myself out of bed and met him at Lilies. I walked in and saw him standing there—charcoal coat, long scarf and Stella in hand. He looked older than I remembered and not so cute, but I stuck around and I strolled over to him with a smile.
El Gringo continued contacting me and his borderline sarcastic messages started to get on my nerves. A meeting between his “friend” and I was finally arranged. We decided on Lillies, a cute little bar in Union Square. Having drinks was my idea. I didn’t to commit to dinner since that would require conversing for hours and I just wasn’t sure I wanted to spend 3 entrees with whoever appeared on this date. If it was El Gringo, like I expected, I didn’t know much about him. I had no idea what he did for a living, how old he was or what his astrological sign was!
The Gringo’s email was to the point...sort of. He said he had a "friend" who was perfect for me and wanted to know if I’d be interested in going on a date. I reread the email, trying to decipher if he was the actual “friend” but soon shrugged off the confusion. Instead of analyzing his email, I decided to just go along with the game.
I began composing my response. “It should be charming. Tell your friend that I'm single and ready to mingle.” Short, sweet, and definitely to the point.
The gringo from my baraja reading appeared at the Lovemionline Sex Toy Auction over the weekend. He stood by the entrance looking cool with a trench coat and a long, gray scarf. Seconds later, he walked over to my friend Irene, who introduced us. I didn't think much of our brief exchange and soon ran on stage to host the event.
The barajas were spread out in front of Norma and she was actually revealing good things! I shook my head in disbelief as she promised triumph in career and love. In the past, I was always told that I needed to cut off a chicken’s head or bathe in honey to release the negative blockage, but not this time.
"There's a white man…you haven’t met him yet," she said while staring at the cards.
"Really?" I asked curiously.
"He will treat you right. But it will be up to you if you want to pursue it.”
I nodded and waited for the rest.
I used to be obsessed with psychics. Tarot readers, palm readers, crystal balls—you name it, and I paid someone to work their magic. Why was I so obsessed with knowing my future? I blame it on my fear of abandonment. Whenever I really liked a guy, I was terrified to lose them. The first man I ever loved abandoned me, so why wouldn’t the rest follow in papi’s footsteps? It was a reasonable expectation.
My friend Julie called me yesterday and told me she was pregnant. In all her wedded and baby bump bliss, she also urged me to “Get myself out there!” and try online dating. You see, Julie met her husband on the Internet and has become the equivalent of a pushy abuela who won't stop worrying about my single status. I told her about Scorpio, hoping she’d back off, but like most of my friends she begged me to ignore his email.